How will look some celebreties with 80kilos more

01 February 2008

What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?
You cry when you cut up an onion.

An old Jew and a young Jew are travelling on the train. The young
Jew asks: "Excuse me, what time is it?" The old Jew does not answer. "Excuse me, ir, what time is it?" The old Jew keeps silent. "Sir, I'm asking you what time is it. Why don't you answer?!" The old Jew says: "Son, the next stop is the last on this route. I don't know you, so you must be a stranger. If I answer you now, I'll have to invite you to my home. You're handsome, and I have a beautiful daughter. You will both fall in love and you will want to get married. Tell me, why would I need a
son-in-law who can't even afford a watch?"

THREE women, at coffee:
"Oy vey."
"Oy vey's mir"
"Please, let's not discuss the children !"

This guy walks into a bar, and sits down at the bar. There is a really
good looking girl alone at the end of the bar. He catches her eye, and
smiles at her. She gives him an icy stare in return.
A little while later he tries again, and is rebuked. He calls the bartender
over. "Listen, I'd really like to meet that girl, can you help me".
Sure says the bartender, "have you ever heard of Jewish Fly".
"No, is it like Spanish Fly", replys the man.
"Much better than that." says the bartender.
The bartender mixes the girl a drink, (with the jewish fly of course) and
gives it to her. A little later she smiles at the man. After a few more minutes
and she began to lick her lips suggestively. The man walks over, sits down
and says "May I get you another drink"
"No", she says in a deep sexy voice,
"But you can take me shopping"

I wooed a stewed nude in Bermuda,
I was lewd, but my God! she was lewder.
She said it was crude
To be wooed in the nude-,
I pursued her, subdued her, and screwed her!