There was blonde who wanted to go on a diet. She went to the doctor
and asked for his advice. He said that she was going to go on a diet
for three days
"Eat anything and everything you want for the first two days of your
diet. Then skip the third day."
So the blonde went home and ate anything and everything she wanted for
the first two days, then she skipped the third day.
The next day she went back to the doctor and he asked her, "How is
She said, "Well, the first two days were easy but that third day was
hard. Doing all that skipping made me really tired."
Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad
in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and
applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job
because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would
do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long
consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the
factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The
manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he
arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of
The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two
A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she
decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the
playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him,
''I've kidnapped you.''
She then wrote a note saying,''I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow
morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree
next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A
Blonde.'' The blonde pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him
home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was
sitting beneath the pecan tree. The blonde opened up the bag and found
the $10,000 with a note that said, ''How could you do this to a fellow
05 October 2008