He is Good Man

A blonde is driving along a deserted country road with fields on
either side. She looks out the window and sees another blonde in the
middle of a field, in a rowboat, rowing and rowing.

She stops the car, rolls down the window and yells, "You know it's
blondes like you who give the rest of us blondes a bad name!"

Getting no reaction from the blonde in the rowboat, she screams, "If I
could swim I'd come out there and punch you out!"

Crazy Animals

A blonde wanted to sell her car, but couldn't find any buyers. She
called her friend for advice, and her friend asked her how many miles
she had on her car.

"235,000 miles." Her friend told her that was the problem. But the
blonde's friend told her that her brother is a mechanic and could put
back the miles to whatever she wanted. So the blonde went to the
mechanic and told him to put the miles at 40,000. Two days later the
blond's friend asked her if she sold the car since her brother dropped
the miles. The blonde told her, "Why would I sell the car? There are
only 40,000 miles on it!"

Funny Kids

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad
in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and
applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job
because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would
do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long
consideration the manager hired her.

After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the
factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The
manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he
arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of
every Elmo.

The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two
testicles!''

Bizzy Bone - Nobody Can Stop Me

- Bizzy Bone Lyrics

That Hurt Toooooo

A blonde is driving along a deserted country road with fields on
either side. She looks out the window and sees another blonde in the
middle of a field, in a rowboat, rowing and rowing.

She stops the car, rolls down the window and yells, "You know it's
blondes like you who give the rest of us blondes a bad name!"

Getting no reaction from the blonde in the rowboat, she screams, "If I
could swim I'd come out there and punch you out!"

It`s hurt

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.
"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."
The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again.
"or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

MARIAH CAREY - TOUCH MY BODY

- Mariah Carey Lyrics