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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are on the run from the law when
they find an old barn to hide out in. The police are close on their
tails, so when the women find three sacks, they immediately jump into
them. About a minute later, a policeman comes into the barn and sees
the suspicious-looking sacks. He kicks the first one.
"Meow," says the redhead.
"It must be a cat," thinks the policeman and he kicks the second sack.
"Woof," says the brunette.
"Must be a dog," thinks the policeman and he kicks the third sack.
"Potatoes," says the blonde.

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A blonde told her doctor that she was really worried because every
part of her body hurt.

The doctor looked concerned and said, "Show me where."

The blonde touched her own arm and screamed, "Ouch!"

Then she touched her leg and screamed, "Ouch!"

She touched her nose and cried, "Ouch!"

She looked at her doctor and said, "See? It hurts everywhere!"

The doctor laughed and said, "Don't worry; it's not serious. You''ve
just got a broken index finger."

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Two tourists were traveling through Louisiana. As they approached
Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the
town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee,
''Before we order could you settle an argument for us? Would you
please pronounce where we are very slowly.'' The blonde leaned over
and said ''Burrrrrrr Gurrrrrr Kingggg.''

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"Please remove your blouse and bra," says the doctor to the young
blonde, placing his stethoscope around his neck.

When she is ready, the doc says, "Big breaths."

"Yeth," she replies, "and I'm only thixthteen!"

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Q: How does a blonde guy take a shower?
A: He pees against the wind.

TO: Boss
FROM: Blondie
RE: Changing Calendars from Y2K

I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be
honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any
rate, I have finished the conversion of all of the months on all of
the company calendars for next year. The calendars have returned from
the printer and are ready to be distributed with the following new
months:

Januark
Februark
Mak
Julk

I also changed all the days of each week to:

Sundak
Mondak
Tuesdak
Wednesdak
Thursdak
Fridak
Saturdak

We are now Y to K compliant. Have a nice dak!!!